It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
