On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
