That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Will exercising make me less horny?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
