Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
