so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
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Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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