I feel great
I just peed on a car
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize