Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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