Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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