Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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