Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
