I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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