I love black thongs
Where is the hickey?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
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He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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