Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
