hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
