your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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