My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
