it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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