No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
