Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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