In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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