My brain says no but my pants say off.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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