I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
