also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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