There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
