Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
