Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.