Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
bring money and cleavage
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later