I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
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You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.