I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just google imaged poop.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
