my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
