cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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