Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize