Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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