How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize