VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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