Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
