Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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