...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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