apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Is it because I queefed?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
