So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize