hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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