My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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