birth control should be required to get into college
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize