kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
