so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
