but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
