Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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