mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
