Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
