Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I am available for nakedness
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
