covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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