His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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