I wish I could teleport
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I came so hard my ears popped.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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