as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
