Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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