my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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