we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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