Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
