seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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