Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
